Monday, October 3, 2011

Loving God and Letting Go

Is the central task of centering prayer letting go? For that matter, is letting go the central spiritual task? Is letting go simply what we must do to enter into relationship with God? When we say "yes" to God must we say "no" to other things? Maybe "yes" and "no" are not the most helpful concepts here.

But maybe it is helpful to think about letting go in light of Augustine's experience. Augustine was a sex addict. In reading The Confessions, it is clear that Augustine gives intellectual assent to Christianity long before he offers himself fully to God. He recognizes the truth of Christian doctrine and the false doctrine of Manicheism - and he knows that isn't enough. You don't get "OK, what do I have to believe to be a Christian?" from Augustine. He knows that God doesn't care about intellectual lip service. God will not settle for less than Augustine's very soul.

In centering prayer - and as always, in any kind of deep, regular, meaningful prayer - we offer our whole selves to God. We place ourselves in God's presence and dispose ourselves to God's will. Over the years of praying this way, we are changed. It may not always be evident to us but it is usually evident to those close to us. In Augustine's way of explaining it, as we spend time beholding the beloved (sitting intentionally in the presence of God) we become like that which we love. God shapes us in God's image and so disposes us to love what God loves.

I think this has important implications for the moral life. If we love what God loves, we will be disposed to doing what is right because it is the right thing to do. As Thomas Merton might say, loving what God loves is a characteristic of our true self - the self from which moral actions with integrity arise.

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